Sunday, July 31, 2011

Consequences

I'm not the best at writing about emotion. Step by step instructions - heck yes. Facts - you know it. Witty/sarcastic humor - I'd like to think so. Uncut emotion - not so much. But I'm gonna try.

I don't know if any of you caught on or not, but I legit ran away. I basically told my two best friends and a woman who's been more of a mother to me than my biological mother for almost a decade (I'll call her Mama Simms from now on). That's right, I didn't tell my family.

I let them know I was safe, but that was it. They didn't know I ever left Pittsburgh and they had no idea I got married. They also had no clue I was driving across the country to move to California. Until today.

I emailed my Mom and two sisters this morning. I know, I know totally insensitive. But I didn't want to deal with the inevitable. I still hadn't thought of a way to tell my Dad, he's not much of a computer guy, but I figured I'd tell him later when I got the guts.

Well, the first thing my middle sister (from now on known as K) did was called my dad. Then he called me and left me a voicemail telling me he was disappointed in me for not telling him myself. At that point I knew I had to call him, so I did.

And he cried. It was heart breaking. I'm his youngest daughter and first to get married and I didn't include him. He kept saying he wishes I was closer. And it made me feel horrible.

We finally got off the phone and I had like six texts from K. She wad tearing me a new one. I'm so irresponsible. I'm so selfish. I'm ruining everyone's lives again (I have no idea when I last ruined everyone's lives). I kept saying K, you wonder why I didn't tell you guys or include you?

And she just wouldn't stop. So I blacklisted her number on my phone so I wouldn't see any more messages from her.  Apparently she did not understand that I took off because of psychotic, guilt tripping outbursts like this.

See, K and I have a HORRIBLE relationship. She came down to Pittsburgh once to visit and the trip basically went like this...K took some extra adderal, we went out, she drank too much, on the way back from the bar she was asking random people on the street if they had any weed, then when I ran out to get cigarettes and when I got back she freaked out on me and started trying to punch me in the face.

And to say that Dad didn't deserve what I was doing to him is insane. I never got taken from my boyfriend's house in the middle of the night by the cops and brought to the hospital for a psych evaluation and call him at 3 am to come pick me up telling him we need to go kill my (ex) boyfriend (who is 15 years older than me and was my track coach in high school).  Nope, I never did anything like that, but K did. You guessed it, K did just that.

Then my oldest sister, R, texted me and just said "Congrats" and I said thanks, and that was the end of it. And I still haven't spoken to my mother. Needless to say, we have a seriously unhealthy relationship and I don't plan on speaking to her anytime soon.

Then I was sitting there with Gabby, thinking about how horrible I felt for hurting my Dad. I really should have included him, he is my father after all. Then I realized something, my Dad has never made an effort to include me in his life (my parents divorced when I was 5).

Quickly after the divorce my dad moved in with the most horrible woman on earth, we'll call her Satan. At Satan's house my sisters and I had to share the guest room, I slept on the floor. Satan would invite me to go shopping with her and her two daughters and then just make me carry their clothes for them.

When I was in middle school I brought an inflatable chair and some stuffed animals to "my" room in their new house (it was really the guest room) and Satan threw it away once I left.

I had some issues my freshman year of college with my mom, to the point where I wasn't comfortable living with her so I planned to live with my Dad. But when I got there and was trying to find a place to put my stuff Satan looked at me and said "there really just isn't enough room here for another person." This broke my heart, especially when I told my Dad, she denied it, and he took her side. In the end I went to live with Mama Simms and her family. They converted their office to a bedroom for me, got me my own bed, and even painted the room purple. I think its obvious why I've kept her in the loop throughout this!

So why the hell should I feel bad?  I have my mother whom multiple therapists have advised me to minimize my contact with her for my own emotional well-being, my father who has never made an effort to include me in his life, a psycho sister, and a sister who I've never really had any sort of relationship with. Why would I want to let them in my life anymore when they've never done anything but bring me down.

I spent a decent amount of time today crying. First because I felt bad. Then because I felt bad for myself (after thinking about all that crap I just told you) and then I realized how lucky I am. I'm married to the most amazing man in the world and I actually got a chance to change my life.

I don't know what the moral of the story is, and odds are this isn't the end of this story. I do know that I can't waste my time feeling bad for my decisions or for the life I used to have, I just need to focus on how lucky I am for the life I have now. If you actually read this whole post, thanks, I know it was a lot and although I appreciate what I have I still need all the support I can get.

Until next time...

Saturday, July 30, 2011

We're Here!

Sorry for the lack of updates; being in the truck so long has kind of killed my soul...
But we're here! I'll check back in later, but now I'm gonna go stretch my back.
Until next time...

Friday, July 29, 2011

Boo to you Arizona

So, we just got into Arizona, and they had a map for me yet I have no photo of it for you...why you may ask? Because its flipping massive!!!!! No way could I take a picture of the whole thing!
But, like I told you earlier, we have 359 miles to cover in all in Arizona. Right now the GPS is telling me we have just over 12 hours left of driving and although The Sailor was talking tough this morning saying we were just gonna go until we got there right now he's singing a different tune and it looks like we'll be spending the night somewhere in this lovely state.
And by lovely, I mean horrible - see the picture of the sign at the rest stop below...that sign just added to my distaste of this state after they gave me a massive map!
Until next time...

Technology rots our brains...

Seriously, it does.
I honestly don't know how I would get from point a to point b without my GPS anymore! And I've spent far too much time on this road trip fiddling on my phone.
Know what has become completely underappreciated due to everyone's addiction to technology? Mile markers (if you don't know what I'm referring to, please see the image below). Especially if youre going east to west, because then they tell you how many miles you have left until you get to a new state! Especially if youre driving cross country and literally spending days on the same flipping highway!!!
And what's even better is since New Mexico is awesome with its super nice welcome center, I have this awesome I-40 travel guide that had a chart of how long I-40 is in different states (see my picture below)!
So, we have like 30 miles left in New Mexico, then 359 miles (::gag::) in Arizona, THEN WE ARE IN CALIFORNIA!!! woot!
To offset my technology addiction I'm gonna try and get The Sailor to play some old school road trip games like I-Spy (which is the only one I really know of, so any suggestions would be much appreciated for the final leg of this journey)!
Until next time...


Hola from New Mexico!

Before you think we somehow learned how to teleport, let me explain why there was no update for Oklahoma or Texas.
By the time we hit Oklahoma the Welcome Center was closed so I couldn't get a map. And I was too tired to come up with something else to post about. We ended up driving until about 1230 am (eastern time) which means we drove for about 19 hours (give or take). But that just about brought us to the half way point of our trip!
Then the only place left with any vacancies was a super skeezy motel, but whatever, we were pretty exhausted. Then I woke up at 7 (central time) and woke up The Sailor and we were on the road by 730!
I would have loved to give you an update when we got to Texas but apparently Texas sucks and doesn't gave a Welcome Center with maps! Good job Texas - nothing seems any bigger (liars) and no maps. Luckily we only had to drive through the little part that sticks up in the top.
But, we just made it to New Mexico! And although their roads kinda suck, their welcome center was pretty awesome...and, you guessed it, they had maps!  Quite large maps actually (apparently things are actually bigger in New Mexico, not Texas) so they kinda sucked to take a picture of but beggars can't be choosers! I took a pic pointing to our approximate location and another with I-40 (yeah - we're totally still on the SAME highway) highlighted!
Hasta la proxima...


Thursday, July 28, 2011

"Continue on I-40 West for 1667 miles..."

Yeah, that's totally what the GPS just said to us.
But, I think we're officially in the heartland; we have successfully made it to Arkansas! Which seems huge until I notice the GPS says we still have 1 day and 7 hours left of driving. And it'll take even longer because I won't let The Sailor smoke around me so we keep stopping (in case you didn't know, I used to smoke...I don't anymore though!)
But, whatevs, I say we're doing pretty good!  The first pic below I'm pointing out where we are right now, the second I marked out I-40 on the map so you'd have a better idea of where we're at!
Until next time...


We're time travelers!

At mile marker 340 on I-40 in Tennessee we passed from Eastern Time into Central Time...we are officially time travelers!

Tennessee, yo!

So, we left The Sailor's aunt and uncle's house in NC a little after 5 this morning and we are now happily on our way on Route 40, which will essentially take us right to California!
You can totally expect me to be posting random updates along the way; right now our plan is to drive until it isn't a good idea to drive anymore, haha.
In case you were wondering, we've just barely put a dent in Tennessee (I'm pointing to our approximate location in the picture below).
Until next time...

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

New Favorite Website!

Soooo, I totally just found the best website ever.  It's like the Rue La La of home goods.  Just look what they've got for your purchasing pleasure today:
Source
This wallpaper makes me want to cry (since I can't use any wallpaper in base housing) and it's 35% off:
Source




This Clairebella cutting board is too cute for words, not to mention it is also 35% off:
Source
At 54% off these Talisman Designs Pop Art serving utensils are freakin' adorable:
Source
And don't even get me started on the discounted Rachel Ray cookware.

I think you get the point - this site is freaking amazing!  And I'm gonna totally be upfront with you, if you sign up via this link and then purchase something, I get a $15 credit and thus will love you forever!

Do you know of any amazing, discounted housewares websites???  Cuz, ya know, I have a house to decorate once we get to California!

Until next time...

In case you don't know what Rue La La is you should go check it out - and again, I'll get credit if you sign up via this link and buy something, so yeah - you should show me some love for introducing you to some of the coolest websites ever!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Love Them!

Seriously, this was just too cute not to share:
Napping on the couch together - if Gabby didn't like The Sailor, I never could have married him.  Luckily they love each other!  Hope you're all having a wonderful Monday!

 Until next time...

Sunday, July 24, 2011

The Great Turtle Rescue!

So, this morning when I took Gabby out to do her business I noticed a little baby turtle in the middle of the street.  At first I thought he might be dead, but then I noticed he was moving - even though it was barely noticeable.
Personal Cell Phone Picture
Even though my general rule of thumb is to not mess with wild animals, I just couldn't stomach the idea of him getting hit by a car so I decided to move him to the pond/lake thing that is right behind The Sailor's Uncle's housing complex (where there are tons of turtles).  So Gabby and I went back to the house to get a plastic cup to carry him in.
Personal Cell Phone Picture
He really was adorable, and I Gabby would have loved to keep him, but I reminded myself her that he wouldn't remain tiny and cute, so we headed over to the lake/pond to set him free where he would hopefully find his Mom, or maybe a cousin or two to keep him company.
Personal Cell Phone Picture
And we set him free by the edge of the water.
Personal Cell Phone Picture
I feel kinda bad if he was trying to head in the opposite direction, but being moved a half mile in the wrong direction is better than getting killed by a Mini Van any day in my book!

Would you have moved the little guy or would you have let him find his own way?

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Better Wedding Pictures!

Know what's super cool about only using family members as "vendors"?  They're super quick!  Some people wait months for their pro pics, and we got ours (and by "pro" I of course just mean "higher quality") in less than a week!

Before I get into the beautiful-ness that are my wedding photos, if you haven't ready the story behind our wedding you should totally do that first (because it's mighty impressive).

You all caught up now...?  Good - now on to some photo-candy:

Before the wedding - I was looking all snazzy with my hair and make-up done, but wearing sweatpants, lol:
 As I was getting ready to walk down the staircase (which was my aisle):
 During the beginning of our vows.  Can I just mention The Sailor and I totally make the Pastor look like a midget?  In those shoes, I was pushing 6'1 (hahahaha - giant bride!) and apparently The Sailor is about that height whereas the Pastor is lucky if she's 5 foot even:


 I like this picture (I'm so conceited, lol):
 The Sailor giving me my ring:
 Me giving The Sailor his ring:
 You may kiss the bride! (please notice how happy the Pastor looks behind us - it totally makes the picture):
 Walking away from the ceremony:
 Best picture ever (boy are we attractive, lol):

 This one isn't quite as nice as the one that was taken in the kitchen, lol, but it's definitely up there:
 Of course The Sailor is doing his crappy-I-look-like-I-have-horse-teeth smile instead of a read one:
 And this one he has a real smile, but I'm not looking:
 Shoes!
 Kissy picture:

 I look a little awkward in this one, I can't put my finger on why though:

 Gabby kept trying to eat my flowers, lol:
 Cake!
 Cutting the cake:
 I love this picture:

 "Don't you dare shove that cake in my face Mister!"

 Most awkward picture ever:
 Family photo - without these guys this wedding would have never happened!!!
 The prettiest Mutt{even though she isn't a mutt, lol}-of-Honor ever!




 See you later!

That's all for now, until next time...
 

Template by BloggerCandy.com | Header Image by Freepik