Blog Update

I have finally made some updates to the ol' blog here!

First of all, I got rid of the "Cross Country Journey" page.  Great in theory, but I kinda forgot I didn't have an actual computer to update it as we went along, so it was a major fail.  Then I just kinda let it sit there for a few months because I wasn't 100% sure what to do with it since according to my blog stats, some people still looked at it.  Well, I finally just decided to put it out of it's misery and delete it.

Then, I added some new pages...we've now got an About Me page (which, well, has a general quickie bio of me), a Pregnancy page (which has my belly pictures, links to all my weekly updates, as well as my ultrasound pictures), a Nursery page (which has a breakdown of how much money I've spent so far on stuff for the nursery and {once I do any nursery DIYs} will eventually have photos and links to the posts about any DIYs I do for the nursery specifically), and a Home Decor DIY page (which has photos of my Decor related DIY projects and links back to the posts about them).  Eventually I'll have a crafting/general DIY page very similar to the Home Decor DIY page just for my other projects, but since I haven't done any I just haven't made the page yet!

Now - some questions for you!

1. Are there any other pages you'd like to see/appreciate for me to create?  They're really there for your convenience (to consolidate things and make them easier to find) so if there's anything you'd benfit from, lemme know!
2. How do you feel about the general design of my blog? There are actually some blogs that I'll follow but I won't comment on because I don't want to leave my Google reader and deal with the crazy bananas that is there blog design.  Is mine too much to handle?  Is it boring? Any suggestions at all would be awesome!
3. This is slightly related to question 2, but does it take too long for my blog to load for you?  I've found that sometimes a blog with have so many things in the sidebar (or just a bazillion pictures in the post itself) and then it takes eons for the damn thing to load.  Sometimes I just give up and move on because I think it's slightly inconsiderate to have five bazillion ads in your sidebar (that I'm probably never going to be interested in) that just bog down your blog.

Thanks again to everyone that reads/follows/comments on my blog!  You guys have been a huge support throughout some pretty stressful times in the past few months as well as a great group of people to celebrate with (or brag to) when things actually go right.  I've considered doing a giveaway just as a sort of reader appreciation type thing, but I feel like it might be a litle silly for me to do one since I only have 24 followers - but we'll see, since I'm kinda crazy I might just do one anyway!

Until next time...

I've got an interview!

And its at Michael's!
But first, a little backstory on me....I went to college in Pittsburgh. I was studying Information Systems Management and had 2 great internships before I graduated. I wasn't at the top of my class or anything, but the work experience I had was worth more than a killer GPA. And when I graduated in the Spring of 2010 I went straight to working full time for the Investment Company I had been interning at...and things quickly went from "I love my job" to "I fucking hate my job."
I graduated in May and instead of staying with the group I had been interning with I was transferred to another group to start my career as a Business Systems Analyst. 4 months later, one of my three co-workers opted to transfer to another group (cuz our boss sucked). A month after that another coworker quit leaving our group of four with just two (plus our horrible boss). We finally replaced coworker one just before Christmas and he quit two weeks later.
Things sucked. Really bad. My boss was an idiot, I had an obscene amount if responsibility with no hopes of advancement in the near future since I had only been there for like 9 months. I did get a raise but it was so small it was insulting. And overall I just hated my job.
Eventually we hired 2 new people who were decent workers, but they were still new. And then the one other person who had been there longer than me quit (again because my boss sucked) and I knew I couldn't stay there any more and I started looking for a new job.
I found one within weeks and since I felt bad for the two new employees at my current job I gave them a chance to match my other offer. They told me they were "offended" I was even looking elsewhere. Seriously? I was paid as an associate level but had the workload and responsibility of a senior level and your offended I was looking for a new opportunity? I almost laughed, but held it in and gave my two weeks notice.
One week later is when I "ran away."
The Sailor is amazed I'd be willing to work at a job that in his eyes is below me. I have a college degree, work experience, and I'm good at what "I do." But I have no desire in the immediate future to go back to being a business analyst. I actually start panicing at the thought of it. I just had such a bad experience with my first real job. I don't want to go through that again.
The thought of working st Michael's, however, is super exciting to me! In an ideal world I would work around 30 hours during the day during the week. I'm not really picky about what I would do, but I would love to work toward a part-time manager position. Or get to be one of the people who gives demos!
And I may not have any significant retail experience, but I have PLENTY of crafting experience!
-Jewelry making - both beading and friendship type jewelry (knot tying)
-Papercrafting - scrapbooking experience but more card making. I have a Cricut expression, a Gypsy, and a Yourstory laminator and book binder.
- I love making my own bows with wired ribbon. I also know how to make a number of flowers out of ribbon.
- With experience being a camp counselor, I've done every kind of "kid craft" you can name. And I'm a pro at tie-dying and t-shirt decorating (what else do you do at summer camp, lol)
- Although amateur, I have experience sewing and have taken a few lessons so I actually know a decent amount about the supplies and when you should use what.
- And Navy Wife Kim taught me how to knit on Friday! I'm no pro, but I think I'm doing alright for just learning (check out the picture below). And I've planned my first real project already - a kitten blanket for the baby (photo and pattern can be found here: http://www.greasy.com/nittineedles/kitty_kuddles_free_pattern.html )
Basically, if they don't hire me, they're crazy, lol.
So, I may seem crazy for wanting to get a part-time retail position when I have a college degree, but that's what I want!  After the baby is born, I'd love to keep working just super part time. And not for the income, for the discount! Seriously, crafting is expensive! And if I'm ever able to open my own online store of handmade goods that discount would be killer!
Now I just have to figure out what to wear to an interview at Michael's!
Until next time...

Dear Mom,

I know my choices hurt you, and I can't apologize enough for that.

But I still exist, and I'm still your daughter!

I didn't plan to hurt you with my decisions, it didn't even cross my mind. But what you're doing right now - ignoring me completely - is an intentional jab at me.

You know I'm on the other side of the country, and yet you don't even care to hear if I'm ok or not, and it hurts me more than you have ever hurt me before.

I'm not perfect, and I've never claimed to be, but you're acting as if you don't want to move past this, and you don't want to have any sort of relationship with me. And if that's how its going to be, eventually I'll have to stop calling because that rejection is just too much to handle.

I hope you'll eventually realize that I do still need my mom in my life. I love you.

Love Always,
Amanda

Yeah...that's not a real letter to my mom, I just had to get that off my chest. I told my Dad I'm pregnant this morning and he's shocked, but happy for me, and is just dying for me to make a trip back home (which I hope to start planning once we're more settled here, probably after The Sailor deploys).

Whether my mom ever comes around or not, I just have to remember that there are people out there that love me. I'm lucky to have a Father who is being supportive despite my choices, and  my pseudo-mom, Mama Simms, has offered to fly out when the baby is born. And honestly, I have never met more caring and supportive people than The Sailor's family - they're honestly the best.

I just need to continue to focus on the positive, not the negative, even though that's easier said than done. And even though I'd love to say fuck it and just stop reaching out to my mother, that will never happen. I've said it once and I'll say it again - we may not have the best relationship, but she's still my mom, and I can't just let that go.

And I just wanted to thank everyone who reads my blog and leaves me such supportive comments. You guys are seriously the best - hopefully as time goes on my blog will become less depressing!

Until next time...

I called my Mom this morning...

...because I thought I was ready to talk about everything with her (if you're just tuning in, go read the post titled Consequences and this post will make more sense). She ignored the call. Yeah, it totally cut to voicemail in the middle of the third ring. I may not have been the best daughter in the past few weeks/months, but that still stings.

Especially since I was hoping the conversation would go better than expected and I would tell her I'm pregnant. I guess the Gods didn't think we were ready for that. I don't particularly like the woman, or how she's treated me for most of my life, but she's still my mom!  I'm gonna go pout for a while now.

Until next time...

We have an address!

So, since we got here last Saturday, we've been staying in the Navy Lodge (aka hotel on base).  That's cool and all but a) we don't have a full kitchen and b) its starting to get kinda expensive! But today we signed a lease!
We want to live on base but unfortunately theres a waiting list. Since I'm pregnant, we get a higher priority but it could still take up to 4 months.
Luckily since most of the people in the area are in the military a lot of the apartment complexes offer month to month leases, so that's what we're doing. And lucky for us, a 1 bedroom apartment nearby is available tomorrow!
So after weeks of having all our shit packed in my car and The Sailor's truck we finally get to settle in somewhere tomorrow. Even if it is only temporary (since we're hoping to get into base housing sooner rather than later).
You all will probably get a kick out of how pathetic that place looks initially though, since all we have for furniture is a TV and a mattress, hahaha!
Until next time...

I've got another surprise...

I'm pregnant!

I know, its nuts. Planned the wedding in 3 days. Got pregnant the night of the wedding. That's just how The Sailor and I roll.

I was able to go to the Navy Hospital today to get the pregnancy confirmed, although I never doubted it. But, since this is my first pregnancy so the Navy requires I take a "prenatal class." It just so happens they have one scheduled for tomorrow! So tomorrow at 9 am I have a prenatal class, Thursday I have a preliminary appointment with a nurse, and then I can schedule my first real appointment with the OB.

This is all happening so fast, but The Sailor and I couldn't be happier. Now we just have to figure out where we're actually gonna live...but that's a different story for a different day.

Any moms or moms-to-be have any advice for a first time mom?

Until next time...

Consequences

I'm not the best at writing about emotion. Step by step instructions - heck yes. Facts - you know it. Witty/sarcastic humor - I'd like to think so. Uncut emotion - not so much. But I'm gonna try.

I don't know if any of you caught on or not, but I legit ran away. I basically told my two best friends and a woman who's been more of a mother to me than my biological mother for almost a decade (I'll call her Mama Simms from now on). That's right, I didn't tell my family.

I let them know I was safe, but that was it. They didn't know I ever left Pittsburgh and they had no idea I got married. They also had no clue I was driving across the country to move to California. Until today.

I emailed my Mom and two sisters this morning. I know, I know totally insensitive. But I didn't want to deal with the inevitable. I still hadn't thought of a way to tell my Dad, he's not much of a computer guy, but I figured I'd tell him later when I got the guts.

Well, the first thing my middle sister (from now on known as K) did was called my dad. Then he called me and left me a voicemail telling me he was disappointed in me for not telling him myself. At that point I knew I had to call him, so I did.

And he cried. It was heart breaking. I'm his youngest daughter and first to get married and I didn't include him. He kept saying he wishes I was closer. And it made me feel horrible.

We finally got off the phone and I had like six texts from K. She wad tearing me a new one. I'm so irresponsible. I'm so selfish. I'm ruining everyone's lives again (I have no idea when I last ruined everyone's lives). I kept saying K, you wonder why I didn't tell you guys or include you?

And she just wouldn't stop. So I blacklisted her number on my phone so I wouldn't see any more messages from her.  Apparently she did not understand that I took off because of psychotic, guilt tripping outbursts like this.

See, K and I have a HORRIBLE relationship. She came down to Pittsburgh once to visit and the trip basically went like this...K took some extra adderal, we went out, she drank too much, on the way back from the bar she was asking random people on the street if they had any weed, then when I ran out to get cigarettes and when I got back she freaked out on me and started trying to punch me in the face.

And to say that Dad didn't deserve what I was doing to him is insane. I never got taken from my boyfriend's house in the middle of the night by the cops and brought to the hospital for a psych evaluation and call him at 3 am to come pick me up telling him we need to go kill my (ex) boyfriend (who is 15 years older than me and was my track coach in high school).  Nope, I never did anything like that, but K did. You guessed it, K did just that.

Then my oldest sister, R, texted me and just said "Congrats" and I said thanks, and that was the end of it. And I still haven't spoken to my mother. Needless to say, we have a seriously unhealthy relationship and I don't plan on speaking to her anytime soon.

Then I was sitting there with Gabby, thinking about how horrible I felt for hurting my Dad. I really should have included him, he is my father after all. Then I realized something, my Dad has never made an effort to include me in his life (my parents divorced when I was 5).

Quickly after the divorce my dad moved in with the most horrible woman on earth, we'll call her Satan. At Satan's house my sisters and I had to share the guest room, I slept on the floor. Satan would invite me to go shopping with her and her two daughters and then just make me carry their clothes for them.

When I was in middle school I brought an inflatable chair and some stuffed animals to "my" room in their new house (it was really the guest room) and Satan threw it away once I left.

I had some issues my freshman year of college with my mom, to the point where I wasn't comfortable living with her so I planned to live with my Dad. But when I got there and was trying to find a place to put my stuff Satan looked at me and said "there really just isn't enough room here for another person." This broke my heart, especially when I told my Dad, she denied it, and he took her side. In the end I went to live with Mama Simms and her family. They converted their office to a bedroom for me, got me my own bed, and even painted the room purple. I think its obvious why I've kept her in the loop throughout this!

So why the hell should I feel bad?  I have my mother whom multiple therapists have advised me to minimize my contact with her for my own emotional well-being, my father who has never made an effort to include me in his life, a psycho sister, and a sister who I've never really had any sort of relationship with. Why would I want to let them in my life anymore when they've never done anything but bring me down.

I spent a decent amount of time today crying. First because I felt bad. Then because I felt bad for myself (after thinking about all that crap I just told you) and then I realized how lucky I am. I'm married to the most amazing man in the world and I actually got a chance to change my life.

I don't know what the moral of the story is, and odds are this isn't the end of this story. I do know that I can't waste my time feeling bad for my decisions or for the life I used to have, I just need to focus on how lucky I am for the life I have now. If you actually read this whole post, thanks, I know it was a lot and although I appreciate what I have I still need all the support I can get.

Until next time...

We're time travelers!

At mile marker 340 on I-40 in Tennessee we passed from Eastern Time into Central Time...we are officially time travelers!

Tennessee, yo!

So, we left The Sailor's aunt and uncle's house in NC a little after 5 this morning and we are now happily on our way on Route 40, which will essentially take us right to California!
You can totally expect me to be posting random updates along the way; right now our plan is to drive until it isn't a good idea to drive anymore, haha.
In case you were wondering, we've just barely put a dent in Tennessee (I'm pointing to our approximate location in the picture below).
Until next time...

Love Them!

Seriously, this was just too cute not to share:

Napping on the couch together - if Gabby didn't like The Sailor, I never could have married him.  Luckily they love each other!  Hope you're all having a wonderful Monday!

 Until next time...

The Great Turtle Rescue!

So, this morning when I took Gabby out to do her business I noticed a little baby turtle in the middle of the street.  At first I thought he might be dead, but then I noticed he was moving - even though it was barely noticeable.

Personal Cell Phone Picture

Even though my general rule of thumb is to not mess with wild animals, I just couldn't stomach the idea of him getting hit by a car so I decided to move him to the pond/lake thing that is right behind The Sailor's Uncle's housing complex (where there are tons of turtles).  So Gabby and I went back to the house to get a plastic cup to carry him in.

Personal Cell Phone Picture

He really was adorable, and I Gabby would have loved to keep him, but I reminded myself her that he wouldn't remain tiny and cute, so we headed over to the lake/pond to set him free where he would hopefully find his Mom, or maybe a cousin or two to keep him company.

Personal Cell Phone Picture

And we set him free by the edge of the water.

Personal Cell Phone Picture

I feel kinda bad if he was trying to head in the opposite direction, but being moved a half mile in the wrong direction is better than getting killed by a Mini Van any day in my book!

Would you have moved the little guy or would you have let him find his own way?

TGIF!

So...when you aren't working Friday isn't really that big of a deal, but still, I'm not going to turn down a reason to have a good day, haha!

How does a quick recap of random for the week sound?  Good?  Awesome!

Staying with The Sailor's aunt and uncle is awesome - they're seriously the sweetest people in the world.  But I'm not gonna lie, I'm so ready to be on our way.  I need to get back to some sort of routine, which is next to impossible when you're staying at someone else's house.  Not to mention I feel like a total heffer.  Have you ever heard that the more you eat, the hungrier you get?  Totally true!  I just keep eating...and not working out...::blah::  Every morning I wake up and I'm like "I'm totally going to go for a run" then I step outside and it's at like 95% humidity and I realize I would probably die if I tried to go for a run.  So I'm sticking to as soon as we get to California, I'm getting back on track.  I expect all of you to hold me to it...


I also colored my hair red this week.  It didn't turn out as bright as I wanted it to, but it is brighter than I thought it would be.  However, taking pictures with my phone doesn't show any red tones in it whatsoever, so I don't have pictures to share with you - just believe me that it looks awesome.  And I'm totally taking to the role of sassy-redhead, haha.

Source

Our marriage certificate was ready to pick up, so we went and did that yesterday and then went to the social security office to change my name.  Crazy, right?  Well, I refused to drop any part of my maiden name, so now I have 2 middle names.  If I wasn't afraid of getting weirdo stalkers via the internet I would totally share my whole name with you, because it's pretty freaking awesome.  However I don't trust the internet that much...

When we were at the social security office I realized I had to sign the form and I looked up at the guy who was helping us as I was about to sign my "old" name and I was like "wait a second, do I have to sign his ::points at the sailor:: name?"  And the guy chuckled and was like, "well, in 24 hours 'his' name will legally be 'your' name in the system, so yes ::chucklechucklechuckle::"

And then I realized I had no flipping idea how to sign my name!  It starts with an H - couldn't remember how to do a capital H in cursive.  After I figured that out I hit a lovely little speed bump when I realized there's an S in my new name and I hate lowercase cursive Ss.  Grrrr.

Source

Needless to say I spent a solid portion of the afternoon trying to come up with a way to sign my new name.  I still haven't settled on anything.  I'm strongly considering working on something that ends up looking like a big, barely legible squiggle:

Source

I could totally rock a signature like that.



Last bit of randomness for today - so realizing that I couldn't even take pictures of my rockin' new hair color totally made me realize how I couldn't survive a cross country expedition without a real camera.  But I didn't really want to spend a small fortune on one.  So I turned to my favorite website, Craigslist, and found this awesome camera (Kodak Easyshare Z981) for $60!!!!!

Source

Now I just need to get a cord to hook it up to a computer, lol, because it didn't come with one.  But you seriously can't beat the price, and the photo quality is awesome!

All in all, I've had a pretty awesome week new hair, new name, new camera...my new life is totally starting to come together!  How has your week been?

Until next time...

I'M NOT A HOBO ANYMORE!

So, yeah, in case you forgot, when I left Pittsburgh literally all I took was a suitcase and my dog.  And that suitcase wasn't even completely full!  Obviously I wasn't planning well, but whatever, no need to dwell on it.

Luckily, X was being totally reasonable about me just taking off in the middle of a random Tuesday and agreed to pack up my stuff and send my clothes, makeup, etc. to me and then give some of my bulkier items to a friend of mine for them to send to me once I've settled down.

I did some research and it turned out Greyhound had the best shipping prices.  I don't think I would trust anything fragile or super expensive to them, but clothes - why not?

Source

X sent them last Tuesday and was told at most it would take 5 days to get to me.  Well, this morning when I still hadn't gotten a call to come pick it up (you have to pick up at the Greyhound station) I decided to call them.  After almost an hour on hold listening to music from the Nutcracker (seriously Greyhound - please update your on-hold-music to be more season appropriate!) turns out my stuff was already in!  There was a note that the phone number given wasn't working, yet it was the right phone number.  Needless to say, I wasn't exactly happy with Greyhound, but you still can't beat $200 to ship 4 huge/heavy boxes from Pittsburgh to Charlotte, NC.

But, I'm seriously happy to say I'm no longer a hobo!  Now I just have to figure out how the hell we're going to fit all this extra crap in the truck and/or car for the cross country trip!

Personal Photo

Personal Photo

Personal Photo

Quick Recap of the Wedding!

Ok, in case you're just tuning in now, a little back story...we were originally planning on heading to the courthouse, but The Sailor's family wasn't having that, so they started planning last Wednesday for our Saturday wedding!

Luckily, one of his aunts owns a cake bakery, so she did our cake.  Another aunt put together some finger foods.  Another aunt is really active in her church and was able to find a pastor.  We had the ceremony/mini reception at yet another aunt's house and they all helped with the flowers.

We went to David's Bridal on Thursday and got my dress (style WG3165) and birdcage veil and I made the fascinator using tulle from Michael's and a shower curtain (yes - a shower curtain - I wanted some satin and/or silk but couldn't find any in Michael's and happened to find a perfect shower curtain) that was on clearance at Stein Mart lol (and it was based off of these Martha Stewart instructions). The Sailor helped me find my perfect purple shoes at DSW on Friday which were also on Clearance!  I did my hair and make-up and also bedazzled a collar for my precious dog, Gabby.

All in all, it was seriously perfect!  The aunt and uncle who let us hold the celebration at their house also gave us a hotel room for the night in downtown Charlotte for our mini-moon!  Enough talk, though, time for some pictures!  These pictures were taken by one of the aunts, The Sailor's uncle has a professional-grade camera and took a ton of pictures but we don't have those yet.

Before I walked down the stairs to our ceremony:

 Walking down the stairs to our ceremony:

 The Sailor during the ceremony:

 My perfect flipping shoes:

 Walking away from the ceremony:

 Right after the ceremony; my mouth was so dry from being nervous (but I'm proud of myself; I didn't cry):

 Flipping my rings around so the band was on the inside:

 The Sailor's Uncle was on the balcony taking pictures:

 Me again:

 Me with two of The Sailor's cousins (they didn't want to put on shoes, so they yelled at me to take mine off so I didn't tower over them):

 The Sailor, Gabby, and I (aka the cutest picture ever):

 One of the aunts just had to have this picture and although I'm not religious, I totally appreciate what it represents:

 Cutting the cake:

 Gabby begging for food (of course, lol):

 Our grand exit, bubbles and all:

 And again:

 The Sailor's freaking adorable little cousin - seriously, I would kill for this girl's hair/adorableness:

I honestly don't think I've smiled that big for that long ever in my life!  It was perfect!

Don't worry, I'll be back with our more professional (though not technically professional lol) pictures once I get them!!!

I Promise...

I promise to eventually be posting with better grammar and spell check. I promise to eventually have more pictures in my posts (and with captions too). And I promise to eventually tell the whole story about why I left the X.

Unfortunately I left my computer behind. That's right. I am computer-less. I'm just a girl with her HTC Thunderbolt and its driving me nutty. I even started the blog on my cell which is why its so ugly, haha.

So, I promise that eventually this blog won't suck so bad, and I'm sorry for its suckiness for the time being.

Until next time...

Hello There!

Thanks for stopping by...obviously my blog is just a baby at this point (yay for first posts) but I really look forward to sharing the radical changes that are on the horizon with you.

Leap and the Net Will Appear is what I decided to call my blog, because for the first time in my life I took a huge risk, and at this point I'm still just crossing my fingers that the net will actually appear.

A few weeks ago I was engaged, living in Pittsburgh, working at an investment company. Now I'm not engaged, in Maryland, and in between jobs.  I left with nothing more than a suitcase not even completely full and my dog, and since then I've been experiencing the most whirlwind romance imaginable with my Sailor (he is in the Navy).

On Monday we are leaving for North Carolina, and then at the end of the month we are headed cross-country to California!  In a truck...with my dog and his cat...to a Navy base.

I know it sounds crazy, but for the first time in a long time things feel right for me, and I can't wait to share this insane, life changing journey with you!