So, I Met My Midwife

And I think she and I are gonna get along just fine.

Which is good, because you don't really get many choices at a Navy Hospital.  There's one normal OB, and one midwife to choose from.  Yeah, that kinda sucks - but it's the price you pay to not have to pay anything to have a baby!

So, my Midwife.  She's Swedish.  Like, fresh off the boat Swedish.  Like has an accent.  And she's pretty old.  I can't say for sure, but she looks pretty old.  And she's very to the point.  I like that.

See, when I'm pushing this baby out of me, I want a coach, not a cheerleader.  I have no desire to have someone telling me how great I'm doing; I want them telling me I need to push harder.  And if I bring up suddenly wanting an epidural, I want them to look at me like I've suddenly grown a second and a third head.  Basically, I need a Jillian, not a Bob (yes, that was a total Biggest Loser reference - and if you don't understand it, you must live under a rock).

Source
"Roar - get that baby out of you!"

Source
"You're doing a great job, keep it up!"

I think those pictures explain what I mean perfectly.

I don't know exactly how I can express this to a midwife, because I don't think the old Swedish lady would have any idea what I meant if I said "I need a Jillian, not a Bob" but I'll figure that out eventually.  I still have like 25 and a half weeks till the Sea Monkey is due to arrive.

So, apart from actually getting to meet the lady who will pull the Sea Monkey out of my hoohah we went over my bloodwork.  Which apparently, I have great blood.  And, she was super impressed with my hemoglobin levels.  I am apparently a hemoglobin producing machine.  Which leads me to the whole fainting in Home Depot thing...

We're not concerned.  If I wasn't a hemoglobin producing machine we might be getting more bloodwork done to see if I may be anemic.  But, since my blood is awesome, it was probably a early-pregnancy-blood-sugar-drop and we have nothing to worry about unless it starts happening more regularly.  Basically, I ate a big ass lunch, my blood sugar spiked, and then it proceded to drop.  And then I dropped.  In a Home Depot bathroom.  Gross.  So, I need to not eat big ass meals, instead eat a bunch of baby sized meals.  And if I do feel the need to eat a big ass meal, go home right afterwards instead of standing in line for paint at Home Depot forever (the standing didn't help the whole situation).

Not only do I have awesome blood, I'm also just great at growing babies.  Exhibit a) the Sea Monkey is growing right on schedule.  I didn't get to have another ultrasound today (just got to hear the heartbeat, which was awesome), but this is solely based off my two previous ultrasounds.  Exhibit b) my weight gain could be a chart in a text book for baby delivering doctors and nurses.  At this point, I've gained 7 pounds.  I'm at that point where you should gain a pound a week.  My last appointment was 4 weeks ago - I've gained exactly 4 pounds.  To the tenth.  So yeah, I'm awesome, hahahaha.

Up until that point of the appointment I felt great.  Then she brought up whether or not I've gotten a flu shot.  I had not.  She didn't like that.  I tried to trick her into telling me I don't need one by saying I've never had a flu shot, and I've never gotten the flu (not to mention we just went over how awesome my blood is, sooooo). But she wasn't buying it.  I'm growing a baby, I need the flu shot.

Its not that I'm against vaccinations.  I'm all for them.  For the important stuff.  But I don't want to get extras, and to me the flu shot is an "extra." But since the Midwife gave me a Swedish death stare when she could tell I was apprehensive, I caved. 

What's cool about the hospital here is it's a one stop shop.  The "immunization clinic" is two doors down from the Ob clinic.  Its basically a super long hallways with different offices on either side.  Then upstairs is where they pull babies out of women and cut people open (aka where they perform surgeries).

So, I left the Ob (I don't have to go back for another 6 weeks since I'll be going to get my anatomy scan at the other doctor in about 4 weeks) and walked past the "family" clinic (aka Pediatrician) to the immunization clinic and got my flu shot.  Easiest vaccine ever.  I seriously didn't even feel it.  If you're afraid of needles, I think a good first step would be a flu shot, because it's honestly that easy.

And that's really it; overall it was an awesome doctor's appointment.  Any advice on how to translate "I need a Jillian not a Bob" to an old Swedish midwife?

Until next time...