My Mom is Coming Tomorrow

And it could go one of two ways...

Option A - she sees my fat ass, it totally sinks in I'm married and pregnant and she has a mental breakdown.

That option ends in fighting and crying. We don't want that option.

Option B - she sees my fat ass and it sinks in that she's gonna be a Grandmother!

That option ends in smiles and shopping. And her spending WAY more money than she planned and saying things like, "well, this will be part of your Christmas present" and "since I can't really throw you a shower I can spend a little extra." Then at the end of the day she'll say "don't tell your sisters I bought you all this!"

Hahaha, I'm hoping for option B.

We have been getting along really well lately, and I can almost guarantee its because she and my crazy middle sister are fighting. My mom only likes to fight with one of her daughters at a time.

And the other day I was saying when I get her from the airport she won't even recognize me - I now have red hair, bangs, I'm fat, and I have big boobs, and she goes, "and you have acne!" Thanks mom, yes, I'm still losing my battle with pregnancy acne. But then she said having a spa day is a good vacation thing to do and she'll get me an acne facial. That was music to my ears!

So, I'm not gonna be posting the next few days if at all again this week. Everyone just keep your fingers crossed for me that this trip goes smoothly!

Until next time...

Slightly Controversial - Instant US Citizenship

So yeah, this was on the Today show yesterday and I found it really interesting - they're calling it "birth tourism." (An article on the matter can be found here) I don't really focus on "heavy" topics here on the blog, but this issue really sparked my interest and it's my blog so I'll do what I want.

Essentially there are some super wealthy women in other countries (the article focuses on Chinese women) who are paying THOUSANDS of dollars to come to the US, have their baby, then once the baby gets a US birth certificate, they go back to their native country.  In essence, they are buying instant US Citizenship for their children.

These women are spending upwards of $30,000 between medical costs and paying these new companies that basically give them a place to stay and help them navigate everything in order to get the birth certificate. $30,000!!!! Then, apparently, on top of that they totally get their shop on while there here, spending even more money.  So, the owners of the companies helping these women are claiming this is a good thing to do because it's helping our economy.

I can appreciate that.  And honestly, when I initially heard them discussing the matter, I was kinda like, what's the big deal?  America is awesome, who wouldn't want to be an American citizen.  But the more I think about it, the more it doesn't sit well with me.

I really just don't appreciate people cheating the system.  This is a segment from the article I mentioned above:

"She said that she hopes her newborn daughter, Emily, will return to the United States to attend high school and college.  When Emily is 21, she could apply for her parents to become legal residents in America."

I didn't even realize that the child could eventually help their parents get legal residency!  So, not only will their child have citizenship, if they choose, they can come back as legal residents in a few years.

But the way that the "birth centers" are operating is what really bothers me.  Again, a quote from the article:

"Some of the Web sites blatantly advertise the advantages of free public school in America, a chance to get grants to colleges like Harvard and Yale, and an easier path for the whole family to get green cards once the child turns 21."

That kinda makes me wanna vomit.  I just feel like they're sorta stealing from "real" citizens.  People who have lived (and paid taxes) in the US their whole life.

But, I can appreciate the fact that on a long list of issues this country is facing, even just focusing on immigration issues, this isn't really a huge deal just because there aren't that many families that are doing this.  If it starts growing though, I really think it could be a problem.

What do you think?  Does it bother you, or are you in the "who cares" camp?

Until next time...

Knitting Project - Hooter Hat!!!

So, after finishing my last knitting project, I announced that I would next be taking on a boob hat for the baby.  So, I got to Googlin' to find a pattern for such a lovely head piece and I found this pattern:

Source

Perfect, right?  Wrong.

This is my first time knitting in the round.  This can be accomplished with double ended needles or with circular needles.  I was using circular needles.  This pattern starts at the nipple, and for whatever reason it was basically impossible for me to successfully use my circular needles with that few stitches.

Side note - if you're knitting in the round for the first time, for some reason this diagram really helped me understand what was happening and in turn actually be able to knit in the round.  The instructions on the source page aren't half bad either...

Source

So anyways...I obviously wasn't going to give up on making my own boob hat that easily!  So I figured I could just make a hat, do a color change towards the crown of the hat, and figure out the nipple later!  Once again, I got to Googlin' and I found this pattern for the "Grow With Me Baby Hat" which I really like (I plan on making a bunch more hats, but I'm waiting until I find out the sex of the baby, and I'll use that pattern).  It has a nice cuff that can be folded thicker or thinner as the baby grows and I found the instructions for the decrease at the crown of the head to be very helpful.  Not only that, but I think the crown of the hat looks really cool!

So I followed the instructions almost exactly, but I changed from my primary color (the skin tone {aka white}) to the accent color (the nipple color {aka pink}) when I had 42 stitches left on my needles, or about halfway through decreasing the stitches on the top of the hat. Et voila - a completed hat, but not a true boob hat yet since there's no actual nipple:

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Where's the nip?


Not too bad, if I do say so myself!

Now, I just had to figure out how the hell I was going to make a nipple.  I tried knitting a chord with my circular needles (this is called an I-chord) but that wasn't working.  Then I remembered this toy/knitting loom that I had as a child that basically just created long ass chords that we would then make into things - or not, lol, in which case you then had a really long chord and nothing to do with it.  Mine looked like a mushroom, like this one:

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Oh the memories

I figured even if I couldn't find an awesome mushroom shaped one, they had to still make mini-looms like this, so I went to Wal-mart.  I ended up finding a double ended one (made by Boye) that could make to different size chords - sweet!  I can't find it online anywhere right now, but if you go to Wal-mart I'm sure you'll find it with all the other knitting stuff'; it was like 5 bucks and change.

Making a really short chord was harder than I expected, so my hat has a pretty long nipple.  Don't judge - that hat is supposed to represent a boob that's constantly being chewed on by an infant!  But yeah, so I made a chord as short as I could without it looking like total crap and then I just stitched it on with some of the pink yarn.  And check it out - hooter hat, nipple and all!

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Since I'm kinda obsessed with the blog where I originally saw a baby boob hat, MODG, and she took a picture of her cat wearing her boob hat, I kinda did the same thing.  No, it isn't creepy - it's totally normal to mimic bloggers you like.  Plus, Fatman is a way better baby hat model than my knee is...

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Needless to say, he did not appreciate having a ta-ta put on his head and then have photos taken that would later be posted on the Internet.  He may be pretty pissed at me right now, but I totally think it was worth it, haha.

So - what do you think of my boob hat?  Do you think the whole concept is completely inappropriate or are you like me and think it's perfect??

Until next time...

PS - fun fact about my boobs - I'm now a 36E.  Yes - E - as in Elephant.  I think once you've gone up that many cup sizes, regardless of how big or small your baby bump is, your body is officially completely different than it was pre-pregnancy.  I'm contemplating chopping them off, cuz they're obnoxious.

Yay - My Kitchen Looks Like Someone Actually Lives There!

I apologize in advance for having a third post of the day.  The other two posts I wrote 2 flipping days ago, but I was having issues getting the pictures to save on the public computers in the community center (yeah...I still don't have the shit I left in Pittsburgh), so this is a three post kinda day!

In case you forgot, when The Sailor and I got to California the only furniture we had was a mattress, a TV (that counts as furniture, right?), and a hideous TV stand (that I'm still working on replacing).  In the tiny ass hell hole apartment, it didn't really matter, because well, it was a hobbit hole.  Once we moved into our massive house on base it was a problem.  We moved all our stuff in, and it still didn't look like anyone actually lived there, haha.

Although I'm still working on most of the house, I'm happy to announce the kitchen/dining area is 99% complete and actually looks like people live in our house!

I had slowly but surely been filling the actual kitchen up (with a microwave, white board, etc.) and last week not only did my dining set that we ordered like a month ago finally come in, I also got a great deal on a shelf from Marshall's.  What's even cooler about the shelf is that I had been keeping my eye on it for a while, but I wasn't willing to pay $100 for it.  Even when it was marked on sale, it wasn't worth it (I forget what the original sale price was).  But last week, I finally bought it!

Tom likes it, too

Guess how much it cost.

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That's right..$35!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love looking at the "Compare at" price, even though I don't 100% believe that's how much it would actually cost half the time, but whatevs.  So, originally, the shelf was worth $195 but I got it for $35...That's 82% off the retail price bitches!

Then, like two days after I got the sick nasty deal on my wicked awesome dining area shelf, I got the call my dining set was in (finally - 1 to 2 weeks my ass)!  So, I went and picked that up and put it together, which was actually super easy to do.  Side note - it was actually more time consuming to break down all the boxes and fold them to the point where they would fit in my recycling bin. Et voila - my kitchen/dining area finally look complete (although I have 1 more project planned).

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 Check out my festive centerpiece.  Yeah, that's totally all from Marshall's and cost me about $7 for everything.  The bowl is actually really pretty and will stay there year round, and the crap in the bowl is good for October and November!

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 It's actually the super naked wall to the right of the cabinets that I have another project planned for.  Any ideas on where I can find a cool looking, mismatched fork, spoon, and knife?  The only place I can think of is my Papa's house, lol, and he might find it kind of odd if I ask for one setting of cutlery...

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 The clock on the right hand wall in the photo below totally has a fork and a knife for minute/hour hands and a hanging spoon for the seconds.  I flipping love it.  I love it even more because I found it at Ross Dress for Less for $7.99!!!  However, the swinging spoon totally teases poor Gabby.  She sees a spoon and she assumes there's food involved.  She has no idea why there's a spoon swinging from side to side on the wall.

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So, there you have it, my 99% complete kitchen/dining area; what do you think?

Until next time...

Living Room Storage DIY

So, my living room is kinda broken up into two areas because of how we have the couches/TV set up.  The "TV section" has been pretty much done (although I might do an accent wall in the next few months) but the other space has been pretty bland.  Eventually my gallery wall will be the focal point on the one complete wall in that area and I decided to get a table of sorts to put along that wall.
I searched on Craigslist forever for an affordable sofa table (you know the long, skinny ones people put behind couches) but nothing was popping up.  Then I decided to potentially take the plunge and buy a new one.  Well, those fuckers are expensive, so that wasn't gonna happen.  Then one day I was browsing the home section at Target and I stumbled upon those cube-shaped storage units and decided one of those would be perfect, so I bought a 3x3 one.

This is the picture from the box, lol

You should know me well enough by now to understand I wasn't just going to leave it as is (wouldn't that be silly?).  Step one in making it something I would actually use in my house was painting it since normal wood veneer is lame.  I chose to paint it with Martha Stewart's "Glacier" paint.  Since it was a piece of furniture I chose high gloss, and all I did to prep it was prime it, since it was brand freaking new.

All the pieces

I used a mini foam roller for the paint and it worked like a charm.

Because I can't help but make every project into a huge production in order to achieve my vision, I obviously wasn't done there either. 

These cube thingies have flimsy backs to like half of the storage cubes so I figured I would do something with those.  Since they come folded in half, it would have been a total pain in the ass to try and paint them, so I had to come up with something a little more creative.  I ended up settling on plastering pretty scrapbook paper to them (which was perfect because each cube is 12x12 just like scrapook paper is).

I found a stack of paper that I thought worked well for the project and picked out 5 patterns that I liked.

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Then I through some Mod Podge (the glossy kind - oh how I love Mod Podge) on the fake piece of wood and placed the paper on it.  To make sure there weren't any bubbles or anything, I used the Mod Podge brand decoupage tools, and finished it off by painting a thin layer of Mod Podge over the paper to 100% seal it to the fake wood. Plus it made it shiny, which made it look fancier than just a piece of scrapbook paper, lol.

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Considering I had never actually done this with scrapbook paper before, it turned out pretty awesome.  And, I couldn't be happier with how the storage unit as a whole turned out!

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The added storage will be super useful once the baby arrives, but for now I would like to find 1 or 2 things to put on top for visual interest.  I've been lusting over these candlesticks turned candy jars I found on Pinterest, but I've yet to find any reasonably price candlesticks for the project, but I think these would be the perfect touch.

Via Pinterest


Once I find the right candlesticks, I'll probably do mine in yellow, and actually put up all the pictures for my gallery wall the "other" section of the living room will look much better.

What do you think of my refinished storage unit?  Or do you just think I'm crazy for refinishing a brand new piece of furniture?

Until next time...

Pregnancy Week 16

I don't really have that much to share with you about this week.

I'm super gassy.  Oh joy.

My back hurts all the time.

I randomly get super dizzy and feel like if I don't sit down right now I'm gonna black out again (like my Home Depot incident).  This makes me nervous about going out for long periods of time by myself because I feel like eventually it will happen.  When I'm at home, I don't mind plopping my fat ass on the ground regardless of where I am (and Gabby loves it, she just assumes I'm down there to see her) but I don't exactly want to sit down in the middle of Walmart anytime soon.  I guess I should probably talk to the midwife about it, but I'm starting to have this fear that she's gonna tell me I need to go on bedrest.  And I don't know what her response will be when I say, sorry, not an option unless you bring my hubby home.  Cuz let's be serious, it is not an option.  I live by myself.  My husband is somewhere in the middle of the ocean on a boat.  Both of our families live on the other side of the country and they all work so it's not like they can come hang out for four months until The Sailor comes back.  And I need to eat.  So there - not an option. 

Plus, I'm ike 99% sure it's just blood sugar issues, which is normal, so we're good.

And although I feel like a Macy's Day Balloon everyone loves telling me I don't look fucking pregnant at all.  Oh, I'm 16 weeks pregnant?  I should have seen ::insert random female here:: when she was 16 weeks - she looked super pregnant.  But do I? Apparently not.  Look out world, because eventually I'm gonna snap and kick someone in the shins.  That's right, pretty soon someone will be in the middle of saying "you don't look pregnant at all" and WHAM!  A swift kick in the shins.

Then I start trying to like justify the fact that I swear, if you had known me before you woud agree I look pregnant now.  Then the other person gives me this look like - hmmmmm, probably not.  So I procede to say, well, I was in the best shape of my life pre-pregnancy.  And if it's a woman I'm talking to, they look at me as if to say "what? you think I was fat before I got pregnant" and if it's a guy he usually says "::insert random female here:: was super skinny before too" and then chuckles to themself.

WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST SAY "Oh you look great!" AND LEAVE AT THAT!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, enough bitching for today!

Until next time...

PS - is it just me, or did my belly shrink between weeks 15 and 16?  Good grief...

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So, yeah, I'm an idiot...

We moved into our house on base a significant amount of time ago, right?  Long enough that I've decorated a good bit and once my damn dining set comes in it won't look like we just moved in anymore (word on the street is it should be here Friday, but more on that once it actually comes).  Well, then how the hell can I explain just realizing that there's a second closet in my downstairs hallway???

Okay, so here's my downstairs hallway:

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That picture is basically taken from the front door (which is to the left of me).  To my right is my living room.  And right across from door number 2 is my kitchen/dining area.

Behind door number 1 is a closet.  I keep my light jackets, a bunch of shoes, my purse, dog leashes, and even the vacuum in there.  It's a basic closet.  For now we'll skip over door number 2.  Door number 3 leads into my laundry/dog crate room (which then leads into our garage).  Obviously the bathroom is the downstairs bathroom.

Wanna know what's behind door number 2???

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NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, I totally haven't even opened that door since we did our initial walk through.  Who the fuck just doesn't realize there's another closet in their downstairs hallway???  This gal, apparently.

And what's even worse is it is right across from the kitchen, so I could easily use it to store kitchen stuff.  And since I've been stocking up on kitchen stuff I've been bitching about how there's no where to put small kitchen appliances.  Like a crockpot, for example, which is currently in one of my upper cabinets and preventing the cabinet door from completely closing.

There's already a double sliding door pantry in the kitchen so I have enough space for food, but this mystery closet is seriously a life saver.  And since I now have a place to put it and I just got a refund check from the hell-hole apartments we were living in before I think I'm finally gonna buy the Kitchenaid mixer I've been lusting over...

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::Swoon::

That thing would make my life.  My Ex had gotten me a Kitchenaid way back when, and when I left him the mother-effer wouldn't let me take it! He bought it...yeah, but it was a flipping gift!  Whatevs, this one is way nicer anyway because it doesn't have a tilty head, instead the bowl lifts up, so eventually I can get the ice cream attachment.  Eat that Ex, and enjoy watching your Kitchenaid collect dust since you would never use it.  (I'm a little hostile over that, can you tell?)

I'm still in awe of my own stupidity.  Like seriously...I don't care that I'm pregnant.  I don't care that I don't have that much stuff so I don't really need tons of storage.  I just can't stop asking myself who the hell doesn't realize there's an additional closet in the hallway, especially since I've been complaining about storage.

Have you ever done anything this dumb, or am I alone in this one?

Until next time...

Boobs are cool and all, but I hate them right now...

So I already posted once today about how much I love :: note the hardcore sarcasm :: being pregnant, but this totally warranted another post...

I've already expressed my love-hate relationship with my boobs. I love the idea of breastfeeding, I hate that my boobs have blown the eff up. The hate side just jumped to a new level.

My fucking nipples are leaking already. What.the.fuck.

I notice the clear liquid and freak out at first, so I Google it. I mean, I'm only like 15 and a half weeks pregnant, my ta-tas shouldn't be leaking yet! Well, it turns out you start producing colostrum at 14 weeks so its possible (and okay) to start leaking this early.

BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'M OKAY WITH IT!

Roar...I hate being pregnant.

The only upside is, if you start leaking crazy early (like me) its usually a sign you are a milk producing machine. Meaning less struggles breastfeeding. Which is awesome.

But seriously - this fucking sucks. Looks like I have to invest in some absorbent boob pads. For now I'm gonna go drown my sorrows in another (yes, I've already had one) Italian ice.

Until next time...

Pregnancy Week 15

15 down, 25 to go!

In case you couldn't tell, I'm still not really enjoying being pregnant.  My back is killing me.  I'm super gassy.  Everyone in the world apparently doesn't think I look pregnant at all but if I even try to get into my pre-pregnancy clothes I get super depressed.

It doesn't help that last winter I went from being a size 6-8 to being a size 0-2 and being an avid What Not to Wear watcher, I got rid of all my "fat" clothes.  So all my pre-pregnancy bottoms are tiny.  They fit me really well when I was watching what I was eating, but even though I'm not eating with reckless abandon or anything, I'm certainly not dieting anymore!  Hell, when I was a size 2 all I drank was water and 1 cup of coffee a day! No soda, no juice, no Gatorade, no Vitamin Water - just water.  The added calories from my 1 glass of orange juice and the Gatorade/Vitamin Water I've been enjoying alone would make me put on weight.

I can honestly say I can't wait to get back on a diet.  How fucking weird am I?  But I think it would be irresponsible for me to start trying to lose weight seeing that I'm pregnant so I just have to wait until The Little Sea Monkey is born.

Getting back to my back pain...I finally broke down and ordered a body pillow.  I got this one:

Source

That thing is heaven.  I don't know why I put off buying one for so long.  If you're pregnant, and you don't have one yet - go buy one.  Even if you aren't pregnant, you should probably buy one, I'm just sayin' though...

In Mama Drama news - my Mom is not-so-subtly hinting she thinks having a baby will be the end of my marriage ("it changes everything - you're going from being a newlywed to never having a second to yourself...you never know what will happen") but if I hadn't seen those lectures coming I would have just been dumb.  Whatevs Mom!

The other night I was throwing myself a pity party about being lonely (I miss The Sailor...) and I texted my friend from Pittsburgh, Sam, and his response was, "don't worry, you'll have a baby soon.  You'll never be alone...or properly bathed...or rested."  I feel like this should have/was meant to freak me out a bit, but it totally didn't.

A) Eventually the kid will be old enough for a sitter...alone time - check!  B) They have come a long way in dry shampoo, and washing your body takes all of 30 seconds...adequate hygiene - check! C) The Sailor is somewhat of a freak of nature and can operate on next to no sleep for extended periods of time; I can honestly say I won't feel bad having him do some of the waking up in the middle of the night even though he'll be working and I technically won't...decent amounts of rest - check!

So, in two weeks my Mom is coming to visit, and once she sees my fat ass I think it'll really sink in that I actually will be giving birth to her first grandchild in April, so we'll see how that visit goes.  And then the week after that I finally get to find out the gender of this little Sea Monkey!  I'm so excited and so nervous at the same time.  I keep having nightmares dreams that the Ultrasound person tells me it's a boy, I start crying hysterically, and she tells me I'm a bad Mom for wanting a girl so bad. I don't know if these are prophetic dreams or if I'm having them because that's actually a fear of mine, but I guess we'll find out on November 8!

Until next time...

PS - instead of bogging down this post with the whole slew of pictures of me becoming a whale you can go check them all out on my Pregnancy Tab, which also has links to all my weekly updates!

DIY Coasters

So yeah, I mentioned in my end table overhaul post that along with refinishing the actual end table I decided to make some super easy, coordinating coasters.  A) they're pretty cute (if I do say so myself) and B) they are super functional and will protect my beloved table from being damaged!

So, it was for serious the easiest project ever. Ever.

Originally, my plan was to find some cheap-o coaster at Marshall's or Wal-Mart or some place like that and then fancy them up to my liking, but then I found a four pack of little wooden circles at Michael's for like a buck so I picked those suckers up and ran with it.  Since the color scheme for my living room is yellow, teal-ish blue, and grey (you can check out my inspiration here) and the table itself was grey I decided to paint them blue.

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Supplies

Spray painting little wooden circles is super easy.  Then, I used my stenciling supplies from my end table project to add a little visual interest...

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Stenciling Supplies

Finally, I sealed those suckers off with a spray acrylic coating, et voila, the cheapest, easiest DIY coasters on the planet...

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I really like cheap, simple, functional, attractive projects, so I couldn't be happier with how this one turned out, lol.

Have you had any super simple and highly successful DIY projects lately?

Until next time...

So that wasn't the best idea...

A little background story...I'm a face picking addict. I can't help it. If I have a (pop-able) pimple/white head/black head its going down. I've also always gotten cystic pimples on occasion, and I make it my personal mission to annihilate them when I get one. Yup - I use a needle to create one to three holes in the mother effer and I pop away. Then I put neosporin on it.

I'm actually quite skilled at this process. I don't have any scars. When I used to see a dermatoligist HE couldn't even tell that I abused my face! Once I had a small cyst on my chin that I asked if he could make go away and he said without surgery it was impossible, and I'd have a scar. I got rid of that sucker with a needle and my pointer fingers and there is zero scar!

Well, since being pregnant and my face blowing the fuck up, I've tried to cut down on the picking. I would be lying if I said I haven't been picking at all but I've definitely cut down a bunch.

Well, this morning I realized my eyebrows were completely out of control and needed to be taken care of. Usually I use a magnified mirror for plucking but I've been avoiding it in order to prevent myself from picking at my skin. Well, this morning I couldn't resist; my eyebrows were in dire need of some serious grooming, a task that is much easier accomplished with my beloved magnified mirror. So, I promised myself to only look at my brows, and avoid looking at my chin/jaw line in the mirror at all costs, and I climbed up onto the counter in my bathroom and started tweezing.

It took all of 2 seconds before I started investigating the rest of my face in the mirror, and all hell broke loose.

It was the extraction of the century. I was using my fingers, my extraction tool, and even tweezers to remove dead skin to be able to see the blemishes better.

I popped my forehead, and cheeks, and chin, and jawline. For fuck sake, I popped a white head in my nose. I was like a savage beast. Then, after god knows how long, I pulled myself away from the dreaded mini magnified mirror and saw what I had done.

My face was red, slightly swollen, and it looked like I was currently recovering from the chicken pox. So I washed my face and now I'm dealing with the repercussions of my lack of will-power.

Hey, maybe it'll help! But, odds are it won't, I'm dealing with an embarrassingly red face while I run errands today for no reason. And if that's the truth, I'll probably have to destroy the magnified mirror to prevent myself from giving in to temptation again.

Are you a picker, or do you think I'm gross/crazy/etc?

Until next time...

PS - no, you cannot see what my face currently looks like. I am far too proud of a person to post that on the internet. Seriously imagine my face recovering from the chicken pox and you'll totally have the idea...

Preparing for Post-Birth Visitors

Living on the opposite side of the country of your entire family really sucks when your pregnant with your first child.

For one, I'm not really getting a baby shower.  Whatevs though, I'm way over that.

What's really bugging me out is trying to plan for visitors after the baby is actually born.  As of right now, our list of visitors includes: my Mom, my Dad, Mama Simms (and perhaps her hubs), best friend from home Kim (not to be confused with Navy Wife Kim), and The Sailor's Aunt, Uncle and 2 cousins.  At this point, I'm not sure if either of my sisters plan on coming out and I don't believe anyone else from our extended families are planning a trip.  That is 5 separate groups of people who are going to come out to visit once The Sea Monkey is born.

Now, I love that I'm getting support from all these people, but honestly we're not going to want more then one "set" of visitors at once; having a newborn will be overwhelming enough as is.  So, I'm trying to plan out who will come when.

The biggest wrinkle in that is - you guessed it - my Mom.  I'm lucky that things between us are much better, she's even coming out to visit for a few days in November.  But, she wants to be here when the baby is born.  Well, you can't say with any level of certainty when a baby will actually be born.  So she was planning on using "emergency" time off through her work.  Well, now she isn't sure if she can use "emergency" time off, so she might have to plan a specific trip and just hope the baby is born during it.

Now she's telling me, oops, I was scheduled to work that weekend.  I don't know if that means she can't ask for it off or what, but it's just adding another obstacle.  Add to that the fact that she can't decide how long she wants to stay, and it's totally throwing off trying to schedule everyone else to come visit!

My Dad is much easier.  When he has the money, he'll come.  Easy freaking peasy.  I have a feeling once The Sea Monkey is actually born (or once we get a lot closer) he'll start looking at finances much closer and try to plan a trip.  But for now, I'm fine with "we'll figure it out later" because I know a) if I called him and something was wrong and I said I needed him here tomorrow, he'd figure out a way, and b) if he called and said "I wanna come next week" and I said "we already have 5 bazillion people at our house, can it be in two weeks?" he'd be cool with that to.  Seriously, my Dad's an easy customer.

Mama Simms is pretty flexible too, and she says she'll come whenever I tell her to.  But she doesn't want to be here when my Mom is - historically speaking, they don't exactly get along.  Add in the way my Mom treated me when I initially got here and Mama Simms really doesn't want to see my Mom.  Now, if only my Mom would make up her damn mind as to when/how long she's coming, I could give Mama Simms a more precise window of when she should plan to come.

Then there's Kim.  She wants to be here when the baby is born.  Or at the very least within a few days of the baby being born.  I suggested she waited until school was done (she's a teacher) and she freaked.  "THE BABY HAS GOT TO SEE MY FACE SOONER THAN THAT!" She doesn't care who else is there, as long as the baby is.  So I guess she's pretty easy too, I just wish I could give her a more precise time frame as to when the little sucker is going to make their grand entrance so she could start planning the trip now.  Because if she comes out here before the baby is born and I don't go into labor before she leaves, she might have a fit.  And try to force me into labor.  And refuse to leave.  And then lose her job for not coming back.  It just wouldn't be good.

And finally we have The Sailor's aunt, uncle, and two cousins.  They're pretty cool customers like Mama Simms; they just want me to tell them when to come.  Once again, this would be much easier to accomplish if my Mom would make up her damn mind.

The whole thing is just overwhelming.  I've started putting together calendars for April and May.  My next step is to start researching statistics for when baby's are actually born based off of their due dates and then try to convince my Mom to make real plans for when she's going to come out and go from there.

How did you handle making time for everyone on the planet after you gave birth?  Seriously - I need as much help as I can get!

Until next time...

First Real Knitting Project - Kitty Kuddles Blankie!

So, I had mentioned a while back that Navy Wife Kim had taught me how to knit, and yesterday I finished my first real project!

I based it off of the pattern found here but I actually changed a few things about it.  First of all, it called to use US 10.5 knitting needles.  Those things are just plain uncomfortable to me.  There's no way in hell I could finish a project (no matter how small it is) with those suckers.  So, instead I used size 8.

The lower half of the body I did exactly as the pattern instructed, but I did the hands completely differently.  Instead of adding a shit-ton (aka 20 more) stitches, I added 4 on either side (so 8 in total).  I still did the same number of rows as the pattern call for (4 in all) but instead of having to tie knots in the ends, mine are just kinda there.  And I like it that way.

Then, once I got to the head part, if I had only done 40 rows like the pattern called for, this poor little kitty would have had a very rectangular head! Check it out:

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That is with 40 rows

 So, if I had kept only 40 rows, once it was folded in half this is how strange the head would have looked:

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So, I ended up doing 55 rows.  If I make another one of these (which I probably will just so I can have a few for the baby in case we lose one or if I make one for someone else) I'll probably do 60 rows for the head part so I have more room to embroider on the face.

Once I did the 55 rows, I embroidered on the face (and I think I did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself) and sewed together and stuffed the head.  I'm not 100% happy with how the finishing seam along the neck looks, so I might add a ribbon of sorts once I find out the gender of The Sea Monkey. But, overall I'm quite happy with the results considering this is my first knitting project!



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Meow.  Sorry, I just had to say that, lol.

As far as things I need to work on - definitely using a consistent gauge.  Some rows I knit much tighter than other rows and up close you can definitely tell.  Is it still adorable? Heck yes, but a seasoned knitter would definitely be able to tell I'm a total amateur!

And since this project uses what's called a "garter stitch" it's seriously the easiest knitting project ever, lol.  A garter stitch is just knitting every single row (where as normally you would knit a row, then purl a row so you're actually doing two different stitches).  So, if you're just learning how to knit I totally recommend this as a starting project.  Not only is it a super easy pattern, it also isn't that big, so you shouldn't get overwhelmed by it.

Next up on my list of knitting projects - a boob hat for the baby to wear while breastfeeding.  Very much like this one:


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That's a photo from the blog MODG (which I looooooooooove btw, so you should totally check it out if you're into witty/hilarious Mommy Blogs) which is where I originally saw a boob hat.  I ended up finding a pattern to make a similar hat, but I might be using a knitting loom instead of just knitting needles (because I have a bunch of looms that I've never used before) so I might just kinda wing it.  We'll see how it goes.

So, are you completely impressed with my above average amateur knitting abilities?  Or am I just a tool for DIYing so much crap for my future kid, lol?

Until next time...

So, I Met My Midwife

And I think she and I are gonna get along just fine.

Which is good, because you don't really get many choices at a Navy Hospital.  There's one normal OB, and one midwife to choose from.  Yeah, that kinda sucks - but it's the price you pay to not have to pay anything to have a baby!

So, my Midwife.  She's Swedish.  Like, fresh off the boat Swedish.  Like has an accent.  And she's pretty old.  I can't say for sure, but she looks pretty old.  And she's very to the point.  I like that.

See, when I'm pushing this baby out of me, I want a coach, not a cheerleader.  I have no desire to have someone telling me how great I'm doing; I want them telling me I need to push harder.  And if I bring up suddenly wanting an epidural, I want them to look at me like I've suddenly grown a second and a third head.  Basically, I need a Jillian, not a Bob (yes, that was a total Biggest Loser reference - and if you don't understand it, you must live under a rock).

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"Roar - get that baby out of you!"

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"You're doing a great job, keep it up!"

I think those pictures explain what I mean perfectly.

I don't know exactly how I can express this to a midwife, because I don't think the old Swedish lady would have any idea what I meant if I said "I need a Jillian, not a Bob" but I'll figure that out eventually.  I still have like 25 and a half weeks till the Sea Monkey is due to arrive.

So, apart from actually getting to meet the lady who will pull the Sea Monkey out of my hoohah we went over my bloodwork.  Which apparently, I have great blood.  And, she was super impressed with my hemoglobin levels.  I am apparently a hemoglobin producing machine.  Which leads me to the whole fainting in Home Depot thing...

We're not concerned.  If I wasn't a hemoglobin producing machine we might be getting more bloodwork done to see if I may be anemic.  But, since my blood is awesome, it was probably a early-pregnancy-blood-sugar-drop and we have nothing to worry about unless it starts happening more regularly.  Basically, I ate a big ass lunch, my blood sugar spiked, and then it proceded to drop.  And then I dropped.  In a Home Depot bathroom.  Gross.  So, I need to not eat big ass meals, instead eat a bunch of baby sized meals.  And if I do feel the need to eat a big ass meal, go home right afterwards instead of standing in line for paint at Home Depot forever (the standing didn't help the whole situation).

Not only do I have awesome blood, I'm also just great at growing babies.  Exhibit a) the Sea Monkey is growing right on schedule.  I didn't get to have another ultrasound today (just got to hear the heartbeat, which was awesome), but this is solely based off my two previous ultrasounds.  Exhibit b) my weight gain could be a chart in a text book for baby delivering doctors and nurses.  At this point, I've gained 7 pounds.  I'm at that point where you should gain a pound a week.  My last appointment was 4 weeks ago - I've gained exactly 4 pounds.  To the tenth.  So yeah, I'm awesome, hahahaha.

Up until that point of the appointment I felt great.  Then she brought up whether or not I've gotten a flu shot.  I had not.  She didn't like that.  I tried to trick her into telling me I don't need one by saying I've never had a flu shot, and I've never gotten the flu (not to mention we just went over how awesome my blood is, sooooo). But she wasn't buying it.  I'm growing a baby, I need the flu shot.

Its not that I'm against vaccinations.  I'm all for them.  For the important stuff.  But I don't want to get extras, and to me the flu shot is an "extra." But since the Midwife gave me a Swedish death stare when she could tell I was apprehensive, I caved. 

What's cool about the hospital here is it's a one stop shop.  The "immunization clinic" is two doors down from the Ob clinic.  Its basically a super long hallways with different offices on either side.  Then upstairs is where they pull babies out of women and cut people open (aka where they perform surgeries).

So, I left the Ob (I don't have to go back for another 6 weeks since I'll be going to get my anatomy scan at the other doctor in about 4 weeks) and walked past the "family" clinic (aka Pediatrician) to the immunization clinic and got my flu shot.  Easiest vaccine ever.  I seriously didn't even feel it.  If you're afraid of needles, I think a good first step would be a flu shot, because it's honestly that easy.

And that's really it; overall it was an awesome doctor's appointment.  Any advice on how to translate "I need a Jillian not a Bob" to an old Swedish midwife?

Until next time...

Pregnancy Week 14 - and a whole bunch of bitching

Mleh.  I feel like a bad Mom-to-be.

First of all, why does it seem like every pregnant woman out there can "just tell" what they're having before a doctor tells them but I have no flipping idea? Seriously, I don't have an inkling in either direction. I don't have dreams where the sex of the baby is obvious in any way.  I don't have any sort of gut instinct.  I seriously have no idea.  But shit, neither did the ultrasound lady at my last appointment!

And on top of that, I don't like being pregnant.  No I haven't gotten sick like some women do (and I feel horrible for them) but I just don't enjoy it.  Yeah, it's cool in the morning when I'm cleaning the kitchen and singing Kings of Leon along with my iPod and I realize The Sea Monkey might be able to sorta hear me since it can hear now (and it's much more likely that a fetus will hear the mother than outside noises).  Then I feel bad for my Sea Monkey cuz I have a horrible singing voice. But I don't like it.

I want my body back.  Really bad.  Sure, it's cool not dieting, but I would start dieting again and get my body back if that were okay.  But its not.  I also want to actually be able to work out.  I have a pretty low resting heart rate, but as soon as I start working out it spikes.  Pre-pregnancy it was not uncommon for my heart rate to sit at around 175 for the majority of a workout.  It was completely normal for it to spike up to the 190s a couple times throughout a workout.  This isn't good for growing fetuses.  Depending on what you read, the general consensus is keep your heart rate around 140 during pregnancy workouts.  For me, that's walking.  Maybe jogging for a few minutes occasionally  Eff that dude! So, I bring the dogs on multiple walks a day, but I want to actually work out.  I want to do a Turbo Fire workout, and sweat, and be short of breath, and feel like I actually accomplished something at the end of it.


I also want sushi.  A nice spicy tuna roll - yummmm.  Then I want to eat a medium rare steak.  Nice and bloody.  And have a Wild Berry Mojito from Applebee's.  And just not worry about every.little.thing that I put into my body.  And be able to go to Starbucks and order a Venti iced coffee with skim milk and mocha syrup.  And drink the whole thing.  Caffeine and all.  And maybe be a little jittery after the fact, but also be super productive for like an hour.  Then take a nap.  Because that's what Starbucks does to me.


And I'd like to be able to take on as many DIY projects I want without people drilling me about whether or not I should be using spray paint.  I do it outside.  With a flipping mask on.  Leave me alone.  And I'd like to be able to go to Home Depot to get some normal paint for a project without almost throwing up then passing out in the bathroom.  Yeah, that totally happened yesterday.  Okay, so I didn't 100% pass out, but I completely blacked out, turned white, got freezing cold but starting sweating profusely.  Thanks hormones, that was so sweet of you. I love sitting on the floor in a public restroom in near tears by myself.

It is completely normal to get light headed or even faint in early pregnancy.  Since I felt better right after, I decided to just take it easy for the rest of the day instead of seeking medical attention.  Plus I have another OB appointment tomorrow, so I'll be able to talk to my doctor about it.


Then, after going through all the things I hate about being pregnant, I feel horrible.  I'm so lucky that we were able to get pregnant with so much ease.  I'm so lucky that I haven't gotten super sick. I realize how lucky we really are.  But that doesn't change the fact that I, personally, don't really enjoy being pregnant.  Maybe I'll feel differently once my belly pops and I look cute instead of just chubby.  Or once my skin clears up completely (it is getting better - whether it's the Proactiv or just the fact that I'm out of my first trimester, we'll never know).  Or maybe once we find out whether The Sea Monkey is a boy or a girl so I can really start planning/decorating/shopping and I can feel more connected to the baby.


Or maybe I'll never feel better.  Maybe I'll just never enjoy being pregnant.  And I'll feel bad about it every step of the way.  But that won't matter once I have the baby (and can workout, and diet, and eat whatever the hell I want).  


Did you love being pregnant, or did you dislike it like me? Any advice at all?


Until next time...

DIY Matting & Framing

This was seriously a new challenge for me, and I'm not gonna lie - I found it quite difficult.

I preach that when you are doing a DIY project you cannot expect perfection, but I still want things to turn out really nice!  And this project was hard to accomplish that for sure.  If you remember {from this post} I found some decorations The Sailor had that were really cool looking but horribly framed. So, this past week I decided to mat and re-frame them.

Well, they were not normal sizes at all!  Getting a frame is easy enough, it just has to be bigger than what you're framing, lol.  But then to fill the gap between the picture/certificate you have to get a mat that fits.  Well, those didn't exist for the two things I was framing, so I had to custom cut them - and this was the part that was not fun.

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The pictures how The Sailor had framed them (lol), the
new frames, the mattes, and the cutting supplies.

For the first one, a cartoon-ish picture of a jet that The Sailor used to work on that was signed by the artist, at least I was able to buy a pre-cut mat, but then I had to make the opening bigger.  That's easy enough - measure the picture, draw out how much bigger the hole has to be, and cut it.  I used an acrylic ruler and a rotary cutter.

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This sounds easy enough, but seriously, those mats are freaking hard to cut, even though I have a nice rotary cutter that I take good care of.  And getting a clean cut is difficult!  I finally got it cut, and since I measured twice (to cut once {like my Dad always says, lol}) the picture fit perfectly.  Then I actually smoothed out the edges with a nail file, haha.  Hey, don't hate, it works!

Then, the second piece, which is a really cool looking certificate thing (not even sure what it's exactly for, lol {I'm a horrible Navy Wife sometimes} but its super cool looking) was so big I couldn't even find a pre-cut mat to work off of, so I just had to buy a massive poster board type thing that is actually matting material.

So first, I had to cut it down so it was the correct outside dimensions.  For that I traced the standard poster/picture that came in the frame and then just used scissors to cut it out.  Then I measured and cut out the opening in the middle the same way I did with the first piece (nail file and all).

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I am happy with how they turned out, it was just a lot more frustrating than I had anticipated:

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Now I'm one step closer to starting my gallery wall!

Do you have any tips for custom cutting framing mats in case I have to do it again in the future?

Until next time...

Blog Update

I have finally made some updates to the ol' blog here!

First of all, I got rid of the "Cross Country Journey" page.  Great in theory, but I kinda forgot I didn't have an actual computer to update it as we went along, so it was a major fail.  Then I just kinda let it sit there for a few months because I wasn't 100% sure what to do with it since according to my blog stats, some people still looked at it.  Well, I finally just decided to put it out of it's misery and delete it.

Then, I added some new pages...we've now got an About Me page (which, well, has a general quickie bio of me), a Pregnancy page (which has my belly pictures, links to all my weekly updates, as well as my ultrasound pictures), a Nursery page (which has a breakdown of how much money I've spent so far on stuff for the nursery and {once I do any nursery DIYs} will eventually have photos and links to the posts about any DIYs I do for the nursery specifically), and a Home Decor DIY page (which has photos of my Decor related DIY projects and links back to the posts about them).  Eventually I'll have a crafting/general DIY page very similar to the Home Decor DIY page just for my other projects, but since I haven't done any I just haven't made the page yet!

Now - some questions for you!

1. Are there any other pages you'd like to see/appreciate for me to create?  They're really there for your convenience (to consolidate things and make them easier to find) so if there's anything you'd benfit from, lemme know!
2. How do you feel about the general design of my blog? There are actually some blogs that I'll follow but I won't comment on because I don't want to leave my Google reader and deal with the crazy bananas that is there blog design.  Is mine too much to handle?  Is it boring? Any suggestions at all would be awesome!
3. This is slightly related to question 2, but does it take too long for my blog to load for you?  I've found that sometimes a blog with have so many things in the sidebar (or just a bazillion pictures in the post itself) and then it takes eons for the damn thing to load.  Sometimes I just give up and move on because I think it's slightly inconsiderate to have five bazillion ads in your sidebar (that I'm probably never going to be interested in) that just bog down your blog.

Thanks again to everyone that reads/follows/comments on my blog!  You guys have been a huge support throughout some pretty stressful times in the past few months as well as a great group of people to celebrate with (or brag to) when things actually go right.  I've considered doing a giveaway just as a sort of reader appreciation type thing, but I feel like it might be a litle silly for me to do one since I only have 24 followers - but we'll see, since I'm kinda crazy I might just do one anyway!

Until next time...