I really do suck as a pregnancy blogger, haha. Especially since as I'm typing this I'm 21w3d. Oops, it's my blog I'll do what I want to.
So yeah, two Thursdays ago I did something to my back. At this point the doctors think I ruptured a disc in my lower spine but we can't do any imaging to properly diagnose it since I'm pregnant.
I'm in so.much.pain. I've spent the better part of the last 11 days in tears or on the verge of tears. I can't be upright (sitting or standing) for more than about a half hour before the pressure/pain in my lower back actually makes me start seeing stars and eventually start to black out.
I'm angry at my body for failing me.
I'm angry at my insurance for not covering chiropractic care. It was the only thing that made me feel any better last week but we don't have the money for me to keep going.
I'm angry at the bored house wives who were supposed to be my friends who have been talking behind my back accusing me of faking the injury for attention.
I'm angry at my husband's squadron for giving him crap about asking to take leave because apparently the jets he works on need him more than I do.
And most of all I'm angry at myself for not being able to take care of my toddler the way he deserves. Yesterday morning I was laying on the floor trying to play with him and he kept handing me toys and signing please, but I could barely move. I can barely pick him up. I might have to put him back in diapers even though he's doing so well potty training because he only likes to go on the big potty and I'm struggling to lift him up onto it as often as he needs to go.
Not to mention I hate the fact that I can't go a full day without taking any pain killers despite the fact that I know they aren't great for my unborn baby. I try so desperately to just suck it up, but there's only so much pain I can handle.
Now that I've gotten that off my chest I can talk about some of the more fun things that have been going on the past 3 weeks!
We have started clearing out our third bedroom! We sold the large pieces of furniture and I've started figuring out where everything else (all my crafting stuff) will end up. And we sold our old stroller (the Baby Jogger City Mini - which I loved, but only works for one kid) and bought a used Britax B-Ready which we can get a second seat for so W and BabyDeux can both ride in it. The only problem with it was the previous kid had taken a bite out of the foam on the bar, so I sewed a "sleeve" for it out of The Sailor's uniform material and embroidered our last name on it. I actually really like it, so I'm kinda glad the last kid chomped on it!
I got a men's shirt from Goodwill for $2.99 that I grad-dyed and am slightly obsessed with...
|Me with my cane - yes, my back is so bad I need a cane to get around by the end of the day|
|Say hi to your baby brother, W!|
Not much else to report...fingers crossed for me that my back starts getting better soon, ok?